I'm exhausted.
My profession as a programmer is making me very tired.Let me describe how I feel all the time, well most of the time for as long as I can recall.I'm exhausted. I'm just mentally drained not just today but yesterday, the day before yesterday, 2 months ago, 6 months ago, 1 year ago..and tomorrow. Everyday I wake up to do something that I have to read up on and experiment. It's never the same and at 90% of the time it's never something that I already know.On worst case scenarios, it's almost fully implemented and then you find something that's going to break it all. Everyday is a (sometimes a couple) of new puzzle(s). Sometimes it takes 30 minutes to learn it. Sometimes, I don't find the solution for weeks. It's never the same and how I wish it could be. There will always be faster codes, more security, better architecture, more friendly user interface and ofcourse meeting the dateline. I don't hate my job, I would enjoy it more if it wasn't so tiring. On weekends which I've rested enough, the toll starts on Thursday. On bad weeks like this week, I'm already tired by Tuesday. I want a new brain, a fresh one. It doesn't stop, its so god damn tiring. I longed for a ciggi and a cup of coffee. But I've already had 4 cups today, I don't think it's going to help me anymore. This constant need to be learning all the time, every single day is really taking a toll on me. Is it me or is it the profession? Is this normal?
I can't think or feel excited about anything becuase this exhaustion is eating me.
posted by LittleChina @ 6:25 AM
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